Desi Arnaz LOVED Lucy. Period.

Here's Desi Arnaz in his later years remembering Lucille Ball.
This is another evidence that he never stopped loving her. Whatever he had done, whatever she had done, the bottom line is that they loved each other.

Just because people file for divorce, it doesn't mean that the love doesn't exist anymore.

As the astute YouTubers say:
"Sometimes two hearts were born to be together, but not stay together"
"Desi's last known words were "I love you, Honey." Said to Lucy as he hung up the phone."

Eternal Love

This is from A Home Movie, by Lucie Arnaz. Marcella Rabwin had been a close family friend. 


"He would sit with me and cry. He would actually cry sometimes. Talking about how much he loved her,and how terrible it was that they were divorced and he loved her to his dying day.” - Marcella Rabwin



It is impossible not to see how much they loved each other.

They look like they had never filed for divorce, that they were still in love and happily married. I guess that the divorce was necessary because it was the only way they could still love each other just as much, before things could turn even uglier and irreconcilable.

Tragic

Many of the fans of Desi/Lucy have been wondering how life was after their divorce. I've seen claims from romantic people that they had never stopped loving each other, but a cynical side of me sometimes questions the verity. Thankfully, people who had been around these two lovely people had bore witness to the love that had been eternal. Here's what I found: An interview excerpt from Candy Moore, who played Lucille Carmichael's daughter in The Lucy Show.  

When rehearsals for the first episode of The Lucy Show commenced on July 12, Desi presented Lucille with a kiss and a good-luck emblem of a tiny four-leaf clover crafted from antique emerald jade.  


“It was a fabulous piece of jewelry,” recalls Candy Moore. “But that wasn’t the point. The point was that he adored her to the extent that he was thoughtful enough to give her such a smashing gift. She cried. They had a lot of tenderness and love between them.” 


Desi climbed a soundstage catwalk and watched Lucy rehearse a scene, prompting him to break into tears. Vivian went to him and the two embraced. “Oh, Desi,” she sobbed, “it isn’t the same, is it?”

The Love of Desi and Lucille

If you really think of it, the fundamental reason for the separation of the two lovebirds is actually because of the traumatic childhoods they had suffered.

Desi had been born a prince, but his worldly belongings and privileged way of life have all been immorally snatched from him when he was still too young to comprehend what revolution is. All he knew was that his father had been a great political leader who had fought relentlessly for his people. Now, it is damaging for a kid because I'm sure you all know how children stand up for justice when they are young. When Desi finally had success as the president of Desilu Productions, he aimed for more and more, probably to compensate all that he hadn't have when he was young, probably to let his wife and children enjoy abundance of wealth, probably to reassure himself of his manliness, capability and standing in Hollywood, but was constantly outshone by his wife's success. It's not easy for a Cuban man, any man in fact to take this. Imagine the constant struggle to come to terms with it, to shrug off the devil because of his passion for his wife.

Desi had been taunted while serving his country during World War II. He had been called Mr Ball too many times, I suppose his ego was permanently damaged. No one back then ever credited him for the success of I Love Lucy. In fact, I'm sure that not a lot of people know that he was essentially the brains behind the top comedy ever made. He was the the executive producer who okayed every major and minor decision, the talent who could read the scripts once through and be able to memorize them. He was the one who played Ricky Ricardo such that Lucy Ricardo had room to shine. He helped to pioneer the 3-camera technique which became today's format for any situational comedy.

I suppose the complications and pressures drove him to forms of escapism. What else but whores and alcohol?

Lucille Ball had a beautiful childhood of 3 years before it changed overnight and became a complete nightmare. Her kind and loving father died suddenly, and after her mother remarried, young Lucy was forced to live with her stepfather's parents who in short, forever damaged her psychologically. Lucy became a perfectionist who felt that no matter what she did, she did not deserve the success and this trait worsened when she aged. When poor Lucy finally came back to live with her mother and family, she found herself barely the age of 10 but the head of the family. Moreover, similar to Desi Arnaz, Lucy had witnessed the evil deeds human beings could exhibit. As her grandfather was being accused of negligent shooting of a young boy, the whole town watched on and thrived on the tragical event. Overnight, angels turned into devils. The law never protected her family, but made a happy old man turn depressed overnight with the ugly accusations, with the confiscation of every single penny he ever earned. As a teenager, Lucy was a rebellious girl and had an extremely ill reputation in Jamestown, but most of the onlookers never understood her need to release her pent up anger, mainly her anger at the unfairness of the world.

Lucy was fiercely independent and self-sufficient. She practically rose to become a millionaire from being a penniless girl. I've never known of anyone else to have worked as diligently as she did, and selfless at that, because she supported her entire family once she started working. She supported her family her entire life. She was filial, loyal and level headed, and she had to fall in love with the man who was as different from her as the sun from moon. This fatal attraction made her both the happiest and saddest woman on earth. 

No other person has ever loved anyone the way Lucy loved Desi. Imagine the constant conflicting values that troubled her for almost two decades. She loved Desi Arnaz, put up with the humiliation and never gave up on him, but his faults (alcoholism and philandering) drove her so crazy that she became more blunt and cold. Nearing the end of their marriage, the only common ground that she shared with Desi was I Love Lucy. For half an hour a week, she was able to pretend marital bliss with the great love of her life, and therefore, she was fiercely protective of the sitcom. She would not allow any actor to louse it up. 

I've always thought that love would conquer all. I realize that I've been naive. It takes more than love to maintain marital bliss. One would say that if we love a person enough, we would change for him or her. Is it really possible to change the traits that you have formed at a young age? Is it really possible to undo the damages that were done on you when you were an impressionable kid? Is it really possible to change what society has taught you? 

I'm very sure that in spite of the separation, Desi and Lucy loved none else but each other. People marry for all sorts of reasons. Lucy admitted that she liked Gary and was looking for family stability. Desi had always admitted freely to anyone who had the guts to ask him if he was still in love with Lucy, years after the painful divorce. Desi and Lucy corresponded on the phone almost every night since the divorce.

2 days before Desi's death, Lucy finally removed her defensive shield and said to Desi "I love you, I love you, Desi, I love you", and Desi said his "I love you too, honey", his tone full of love, regret and sorrow, and imagine how he felt: he knew he was on his way to the other side of the world and he had to leave the love of his life behind forever. He spoke to Lucy and no one else, and who else would he think of in his deathbed? Lucy.

Lucy lived another 2 years, but she hadn't wanted to live after Desi's death. Following his death, her emotional and physical health. In medical terms, she died of heart failure. In my opinion, she died of a broken heart.

For two people who have brought the world such profound happiness, they sure led tragic lives.

Lucy and Desi, Old Age

Here's a rare picture of Lucy and Desi in the 1960s!

It's like they've never gone through that infernal divorce.

Maybe it was really for the better. Sometimes you just love a person too much to be close to him or her because you'll become self-destructive, and at that, you'll destroy the person you love and cherish most.

Anyone has got pictures of Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball Morton to contribute? I'm sure the audience would an assurance, to know that they still loved each other just the same after being separated. 

Looking Fabulous

How can someone in her late fifties look this gorgeous?

I only wish that I'll be half as pretty as she was at this age.

I Loved Lucy: My Friendship with Lucille Ball

I was really fortunate to acquire this book at a low price- it was a steal!

Lee Tannen meet Lucille Ball during the second last decade of her life and he relates about his friendship with her.

Review:
This is an extremely interesting read, and valuable too, because most books focus on Lucille's younger days and end a few years after her painful divorce from Desi Arnaz. They say Lucille wasn't funny when she wasn't Lucy Ricardo, I think that she was funnier than most authors gave credit for! After reading this book, Lucille struck me as an eccentric and adorable grandmother that I would like to have. I would have definitely doted on her, reassured her daily, accompanied her as much as I can, and given her the hugs that would suck the breath right out of her!

 Lee Tannen truly loved Lucy. I'm sure he wrote the book not for financial gains, but he wanted to share another side of Lucy with us. I really thank him, and I am really thankful that Lucy had met such a wonderful guy in her later years to brighten up her life and to give genuine support. God bless you, Lee!

I felt incredibly sad at certain parts, specifically after I read Lee and Lucy's estrangement for a year after Lee threw a terrible tantrum in the limo, Lucy's inability to be intimate with her children and grandchildren, Lucy's career failures after taking some ill-given advice, and Desi's death. My heart kept breaking, and it was, and still is hard to connect her to the Lucille Ball Arnaz. The divorce certainly led her to hiding a part of herself from the rest of the world.

In fact, purely in my opinion, there are 4 segments of Lucille's life that are so different that I cannot seem to connect them together. I mean, people don't change that much abruptly, right? The young and reckless Lucy who used to hang out with the notorious boys before her movie days; the serious dramatic, comedy and film noir actress  days, Desi Arnaz and I Love Lucy days, and after divorce days all add up to explain the complex woman who achieved so much. She remains the only idol and role model I have, and the fact that a big celebrity like her who is only human makes me love her more!

I'm still hesitant to flip to the last chapter of the book because I know what I am going to find will make me cry. In fact, all of Lucy's books leave me a sad, tingling feeling. All except her own biography, Love, Lucy. I suppose it's because Lucille stopped at the part where she and Gary Morton got married and she was on her way to finding happiness once more.

I would greatly recommend this book, not only because any information about Lucy is a treasure to me, but because Lee brought a touch of humanity into even the most horrible stories. Many readers found the author a little creepy, but I have to say that based purely on experience (not stereotyping homosexuals but I get this feeling from Lee too), I have a lot of gay friends who are affectionate, flamboyant and expressive. I think that there's nothing wrong about his deep admiration for her and the only way he could have fawned about this wonderful woman was to be affectionate, flamboyant and expressive. Some readers also pointed out that Lee loved Lucy only because she was Lucille Ball. Who wouldn't? I mean, he probably really did, but I gathered that he truly cared for her as a person and not as a star after their friendship became stronger.

Whatever it is, the book should be a collection for any Lucy fans! Of course, don't take all the stories to heart because after all, they are not related to us from the horse's mouth! Don't judge Gary Morton too negatively, because I've read so many different stories about him that I don't think the stories presented to us make us fit to judge him.

Ratings: 4.5/5

Desi and Lucille: Old Age, Sweet Still

I know we all fancy pictures of Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball being young, handsome and lovely. It broke our hearts that they filed for divorce, didn't it?

It's natural to think that love dissipates after divorce, and that things would never be the same again. I often stay up late, wondering how Lucy and Desi could bear the separation, how much they thought of each other a day, and how much they regretted doing the things they did. I mean, you can't just erase someone who has been sleeping beside you for 19 years out of your life. It was kind of disillusioning for fans of I Love Lucy to have to bear the pain of Desi and Lucy's divorce.

However, I've always read from everywhere that neither of them ever got over each other, and they both remained as the greatest and only love of each other. It got me into thinking about the whole deal of marriage and love. I realized that marriage isn't a legal binding, but a union of the hearts. And when you're so consumed  in love, you're so crazy and irrational, you just can't bear being with your soul mate anymore, and a little bit of distance helps.

Lucy admitted that she loved Desi so much that it hurt, but she never really liked him. Desi felt the same way about her too. But after the divorce, they finally became friends, and best friends thereafter. It was then they both started to like each other on top of that passionate love.

They phoned each other every night of their lives, Desi often cried to his friends how sad he was that they had divorced, and Lucille never trusted anyone but Desi. On important dates like Lucille's birthday, their children's birthdays, or their wedding anniversary, Desi would send a huge bouquet of carnations (Lucille's favorite) to her.

It is indeed reassuring to know all these, but we do need a physical evidence, don't we. We need to SEE to be reassured.

Here goes:

I found this picture online, and it has become my all-time favorite picture. I love those glamorous pictures of young Desi and Lucy, but this one tops the rest!

The resolution was poor and I did my best to enlarge and restore it.

My dear readers, feel free to right click and save this picture. I hope you find tranquility from this picture, that these two darlings were still such adorable lovebirds even after almost 20 years of divorce, where looks did not matter anymore, where the past was forgiven.

Life after Divorce

Desi Arnaz, however, preferred to view the programme [Here’s Lucy first episode] from a highly personal perspective: “I think the wonderful surprise to everyone is my daughter. […] I knew she was loaded with talent. She has a great sense of rhythm and a wonderful sense of humour - which is obviously inherited. She’s got a lot of her mother in her”.

Desi phoned Lucille after the premiere broadcast. “Honey, regardless of whether they’re our children or not, they were just great. I just wanted you to know how proud I am of the kids - and of you”. Lucille interrupted him and emotionally said: “Stop that, you troublemaker - are you trying to get me to ruin my dress with tears?”

Source: http://desilu-playhouse.tumblr.com/