Desi, Lucille and their Calf

A friend gave us 2 calves. One died, the other was very sick, and Lucy and I stayed up all night long with her. She had a high fever and we held her, wrapped up in blankets, and gave her the stuff the vet told us to give her. Finally, she got over the illness and lived. We both felt good and proud of our triumph to have this beautiful little white-and-black calf we called The Duchess of Devonshire live through the efforts of our nursing. Eventually, she got to be 2200 pounds. She fell in love with me and would come to our bedroom window in the middle of the night and moo, moo, moo. Lucy would wake up and say, "there's your goddamn girlfriend trying to get into the bedroom. You better go do something before she comes right through the window." 

- Desi Arnaz, A Book (Lucille Ball told a story that coincided with this in Love, Lucy)

Love, Lucy and A Book

It seems like Heaven wants to reward us earthlings by giving us a reason to laugh heartily. It was simply fate that an American and a Cuban who lived so far away would meet, marry and eventually create I Love Lucy. I'm really thankful for this sitcom because I've made it a habit to watch I Love Lucy whenever I am feeling angry, troubled or sad. It works like magic every single time. I'm sure many of you do the same thing too!

It wasn't by sheer coincidence that they two wonderful people finally conceived a baby just before I Love Lucy, and another during the end of the first season. You could feel their desire/obsession to want children by reading their autobiographies: Love, Lucy, and A Book. A child is a gift unique to the couple, and they both wanted to cement the marriage by all means.

Here are extracts from the autobiographies, and they fit together like a jigsaw puzzle! I really, really, really recommend these two books, because not only do they make an enjoyable read, the stories that come from the horses' mouths are the most legitimate!


Lucille Ball: Love, Lucy
I wanted him and only him as the father of my children.

...

In 1949, Desi and I instituted a "stay at home" policy. I was still childless, which caused me great heartache. Freddy (her brother) and Cleo (her cousin) were both married and had kids of their own; I had dogs and cats. So one day, Desi and I sat in our cabbage-rose-papered living room and talked far into the night. We finally decided that Desi would give up his cross-country tours and only take local engagements with his band. We would both consult doctors to see why we did not have children.

Desi Arnaz: A Book
The reason we hadn't had a child was not because we weren't trying. We were doing everything humanly possible to have one. I'll never forget the day I had an appointment with one doctor. Maybe it was my fault, I thought. 


"I have to have your semen count," he told me, "so go into the bathroom back there, take this little bottle and put your semen in it."


"Wait a minute," I said. "How?"


"Masturbate, and when the orgasm comes make sure it flows into this bottle here."


"I'm getting a little too old for that, Doc. Couldn't one of the nurses help?"


"Never mind," he said, "you're on your own."


I went into the bathroom and told myself, "Well, you gotta do it, so do it."


Fire engines and police sirens going by on the street below did not help my chore any. The result was that there was no physical reason why I couldn't be a father. Lucy had already been examined and there was nothing wrong with her either.

I'm so glad that their wish came true. Not only were they rewarded with Lucie Arnaz, they had Desi Arnaz Jr. to carry on the family line.

Hearts Made of Gold

The book Desilu: The Story of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz was a very tough read for me. It took me some time to recover from the evident pain so many people suffered.

Seeing how bitter, unreasonable and angry Lucille had turned into, and how completely self-destructive Desi had become after their divorce were like punches after punches into my face. I suggest fans to read their individual autobiographies

A Book by Desi Arnaz

Love, Lucy by Lucille Ball

before diving into Desilu: The Story of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, because there were too many factors that changed the both of them, factors that were such big blows, that it is impossible for one to recover from.

If only they had left their fame behind and had gone somewhere else completely secluded to start anew, things wouldn't have turned out this way.

Bear in mind that Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz were the nicest, sweetest people around. Desi was simpler to analyze: he was outwardly nice and sweet. Lucille was complicated: one has to own a sharp pair of eyes and a keen sense of perception to feel her niceness and sweetness.

Working for a boss like Desi was a man's greatest dream. He treated each and every one of his employees humanely. In fact, even his band members' welfare came before his. He expected honesty from his employees, and in turn, he provided generously. Even after he became the president of Desilu, he didn't become high and mighty. He was the most modest boss ever, even with his increasing addiction to alcohol.

Lucille may seem like a tough nut, or an ice queen, but she had a soft spot buried deeply in her. Over the course of her marriage, she had experienced the indescribable heartache of not one, but three miscarriages. She wanted nothing as much as having a child that belonged to Desi and herself, but thrice, that child slipped away from the both of them. Her earliest scrapbooks consisted of adorable pictures of babies with endearing notes expressing her longing for a child.

No one could communicate that indescribable heartache of a miscarriage than one who has had a miscarriage herself:

Shortly after recovering from a miscarriage, Lucille heard the news that Desi and her longtime friend, Marcella Rabwin, too suffered from a miscarriage. Marcella was depressed the entire time in the hospital. She wouldn't speak to anyone, and her room was always kept dark and quiet. The lost of a baby was so traumatizing. Lucille forgot about her own loss and rushed to the hospital. She didn't knock on the door; she just opened the door as unobtrusively as possible to let herself in, fully clothed. She didn't say a word, not even a hello. She started unbuttoning her blouse, and to Marcella's surprise, Lucille did a comical striptease for her. And the ever depressed Marcella laughed uproariously- the first time she had laughed throughout the disaster. Seeing that she had helped, Lucille then left quietly, expecting no words of gratitude and giving no words of condolences. Words were not necessary.

Lucille didn't have to go out of her way. But she did. Lucille was so wonderful.

This is one of the great things that women can do for women- the capacities of a woman's love astounds me at times. And Lucille has the capacity to care and love so greatly for a friend. Imagine how she worshiped Desi then.

Those two had hearts made of gold.