Lucille Ball Topless!

It's really amazing how I've just talked about an alleged picture featuring topless Lucille Ball a few days ago and now, there's another such picture of her from Globe Magazine, September, 2012.

 

However, I must really say that this "fan" of Lucille whose name is Wanda Gaither has done a good job by "finding" a topless picture of Lucille Ball. Or rather, she has found a picture of a lady who resembles Lucille A LOT. 

In the magazine, it is said that this picture was taken in the 1930s, in California, when Lucille first came to Hollywood. (I would like to thank a fellow Twitter user, who has kindly snapped a picture of the content for me).

Gaither claims that this picture was taken in the "Pike amusement area in Long Beach."

This lady sure as hell looks like Lucy... She looks like the 1950s Lucy Ricardo, that is.

Being an ardent fan of Lucille Ball, I'm here to try to convince you why the above picture is NOT Lucille Ball.

First of all, let's refer the topless lady as Nude Lady.

There are 6 features that gives us a privy as to why as much as nude lady resembles Miss Ball, she is not her.

Dear Miss Ball, I feel really awful having to mar such a beautiful picture of  you, but I'm doing it for a good cause. I hope you'll understand and may you rest in peace.


I've taken the liberty to highlight Nude Lady's features for a better comparison.

1. Forehead to nose
Lucille is known to have a high and beautiful nose, and the bone that connects her forehead, eyes and nose bridge together is a distinct triangle. It is obvious from the color picture above, and if you've watched I Love Lucy as many times as I have, you'll be familiar to this part of her face, because whenever she gives an adorable expression, this part will show up prominently. Nude Lady does not have this prominent feature at all. In fact, her eyebrow bone is curvy, instead of straight, giving a curvy "V" instead of a straight "V" look.

2. Nose Bridge
While Lucille has a high and flat nose bridge bone that makes me have to trace "l l", Nude Lady's nose bridge is simply high and sharp, resulting in a "l" trace. 

If you do not get what 1. and 2. mean, I've made a collage to illustrate what I mean. Nude Lady is the one on the top left hand corner. The rest of the pictures are legitimate pictures of the late Miss Ball, all revolving in the 1930s.
3. Nose size
Notice that Nude Lady's nose is so straight that its flair at the bottom is very slight. Lucille nose has a larger flair than Nude Lady's.

If you do a comparison between length of eyes and nose size, you'll notice that Nude Lady has longer eyes than nose, around the ratio of 1.2 to 1. Lucille's ratio of length of eyes to the length of the nostrils will be more proportionate, around 1 to 1. 

4. Boobs
Lucille's boobs were never really full prior to giving birth. She had been a tall, willowy and skinny model prior to going to Hollywood, and she remained that way. Even when she had forced herself to eat more since then, she had never been chesty.

Well, a picture speaks a thousand words. You can judge her boobs size from the pictures, all taken in the 1930s.

The Nude Lady obviously was very, very well-endowed. We women know this for a fact because when we lift our arms above like that, our boobs will shrink a little because the skin stretches and becomes more taut, thus holding the fats further inwards. She has done that, and she was still so full and chesty.

It's awkward to talk about this. Seriously.

5. Eye Bags
The last feature of Nude Lady which is the best tell tale sign to show us that she is NOT Lucy the presence of her eye bags!

Lucille never had meaty, fleshy, full eye bags. Even when she grinned like mad, the eye bags were never obviously (refer to the bottom left hand corner of the picture below for a better illustration). 

6. Hair
Back in the 1930s, Lucille's hair was blonde and straight- she wore it like Clara Bow. Even when she made it wavy, she never fashioned it into a bun. She was also seldom spotted with a fringe. The Lucy Ricardo style of tying up her hair and perming the fringe was only done in the mid 1940s, when she switched movie studios to MGM.

Nude Lady has that hair, which means that she is obviously NOT Lucy.

So there. There are billions and billions of people living on earth, and even back then, the population pool was large enough to have people who resembled one another. Furthermore, with the elimination of colors, mistakes like this become more natural; after all, we do not have eye colors, hair colors, skin colors etc. to give us better identification methods.

From the 6 points I've mentioned, I hope that you'll be as convinced as I am that Wanda Gaither and Globe Magazine have made a mistake. Tabloids simply like to sensationalize news and these people don't substantiate gossips with evidence.

Please let Lucille Ball rest in peace.