Never The Same

They were so in love, the divorce broke them and they were never the same again. Even though they each remarried, there was no doubt that they were still in love with each other. Families and friends have confirmed that. Love like this consumes the whole heart, leaving no room for others.

In the later years, Lucille Ball withdrew from the world and spent much time playing backgammon. Desi Arnaz spent much time sitting at the beach and looking at the sunset each evening.

Sometimes, too much passion destroys a love relationship.

7. The Proposal

Soon after she received Desi Arnaz's touching telegram, Lucille Ball traveled to Milwaukee to appear in a benefit. This engagement was supposed to last one night, but one night stretched in five. Desi had made her promise to return to New York immediately after her Milwaukee engagement and he became as mad as an ant on a hot pan as she was held up at Milwaukee longer than expected. Moreover, it was in November and the snow was falling down hard and quick. He became suspicious and thought she was having an affair.

Was it possible for Lucy to return to New York into Desi's arms?

One midnight, Lucy took Desi's long distance call at the hotel lobby. She was tired from working, and he was yelling into the phone, with his strange accent "I know why you're stalling, you crumbum. You're screwing the mayor. And there's a very handsome actor playing in the scene with you, Joseph Cotten. Are you screwing him? Is that why you're stalling?"

Of course, being the woman with a hot temperament, Lucy was not going to take the accusations lightly. She in turn, accused him of being involved with every woman in every town he was in, and hollered right back "I don't even know this Joseph!" She had forgotten where she was- the entire lobby was at a standstill as everyone eavesdropped on her end of the conversation. It was no mystery who the person on the other end of the line was. It so happened that Joseph Cotten walked in and immediately, Lucy said to Desi "I got to go. I'll see you first thing in the morning," and hung up.

Lucy marched up to her hotel suite, still boiling mad at Desi, and told her personal maid, Harriet that she was going to charter a private plane and leave for New York right this minute. Her maid would follow her the next day, with her clothes and other personal belongings. When she returned to the lobby, Joseph was still there-- he kindly drove her to the airport.

Braving the snowstorm, Lucy finally reached New York and checked into Hamsphire House. Exhausted, she fell into a deep lumber till noon the next year, and then waited for Desi to appear between his shows at the Roxy. Just then, a reporter requested to interview Lucy on the article "Why I Will Always Remain a Bachelor Girl". She accepted it as she wanted to keep Desi waiting-- she was still mad at him. In her hotel room, she cited all the reasons Desi and her were never going to get married, and that their differences would never be resolved. Of course, she would continue seeing him, just as friends.

Finally, the lady reporter left. The two lovebirds had not seen each other for a long time. They wasted no time but to apologize for all the nasty accusations they had made about each other, kissed, and made love, all in a hurry as Desi had to return to the Roxy and do the next show.

As Desi was dressing and leaving, he said "This girl is going to have a hell of a time with that story."

"Why?" Lucy was curious, and becoming increasingly excited.

"Because I have everything arranged to marry you tomorrow morning, if you would like to marry me."

"Where?" Lucy was lost for words.

"In Greenwich, Connecticut." He shed light on her that he had been adamant on wanting her back in New York as soon as possible because he had already postponed the elopement 5 times.

"But I thought we decided that we couldn't get married."

"That's right, but we are."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want to marry you and I want to marry you tomorrow."

"Why couldn't we just live together?" she asked.

"No, I don't want to just live together. I want to marry you and I want to have some children with you and I want to have a home. I'm not like the image you have of me. Now, do you want to marry me or not?"

"Of course I want to marry you, you idiot! Aren't we supposed to wait for three days for a permit or something?"

"I got the whole thing straightened out. I've already gotten a permit, and the judge to give us an exemption. You love me, don't you?"

"I love you very much."

"I love you very much too. So what the hell else is there? I have to go now. I'll be back after the next show."

It was a hectic day for Desi. But he had never been happier. Years later, he could recall the exact details of this unorthodox and poignantly sweet proposal. So could Lucy.

5. Not Even The Start

After the first date, Desi thought it would be the end of the Lucy story.

As it turned out, it wasn't even the beginning.

It was the start of a passionate and possessive love, of a great production I Love Lucy that still brings much laughter around the world today, of the results of wrong choices made, of an enduring love which proved that even after remarrying, there could only be one great long-lasting love, that true love does exist...

3. The Passionate Courtship

It was the sweetest, most passionate, spiciest and emotionally challenging courtship- nothing was moderate about them. They would love furiously and fight passionately.

Lucille kept Desi busy by making them travel along the west coast for some sightseeing. At first, she was afraid of Desi's fast and seemingly reckless driving. Now, Lucille herself drove speedily and furiously. After seeing that Desi was a safe driver who did not take chances, she relaxed and enjoyed herself.

They posed as tourists, and back then, they looked odd together as a couple with Desi's tanned skin and Lucille's flaming red hair. in the 1930s and 1940s, interracial relationships were rare, if present. On one occasion, Desi said to his friend that the best thing that happened to him that year was meeting Lucille. She melted right into his arms. They were both criticized for hugging and kissing too much publicly, but according to Lucille, "(they) were so gone, (they) didn't care."

The love affair was tumultuous from the start. The expanse of unbridled passion could only be matched with the clashes of tempers and bursts of jealousy. Too often, they had to be separated by miles to fulfill their personal engagements with movies, musicals and performances. Desi was too charming and other women were crazy about him, while Lucille's big blue eyes were too irresistible to other men.

Long-distance telephone calls amounted to around $30,000 (back then, that was a helluva lot of money!), and many of their conversations consisted of accusations of each other's infidelity. Desi once called her and said "Where were you when I called you the last time? I know you weren't at the studio. Who the hell were you having dinner with?" She replied nonchalantly, "I was here and there." He got so mad and after delivering "Well, the hell with you, that's all, forget it. I can't trust you, you're a this and that," he hung up. Of course, one would call the other up a few minutes later.

During Lucille's publicity trip to promote a new movie Too Many Girls at Milwaukee, Desi accused her of having an affair with the town's handsome mayor. "I know why you're staying in Milwaukee for a week instead of 2 days as scheduled, you're screwing the mayor, you crumbum!"

Lucille, was even more jealous; she in turn, burned up the telephone lines with "You Cuban son of a bitch, where were you all last night? What are you trying to do, lay every goddamned one of those chorus girls in Too Many Girls? No wonder they picked you for the show!" Then, she would hang up. Of course, again, one of them would call back 5 minutes later- all their quarrels always ended with embrace and back then, their arguments were sort of like a kind of lovemaking.

I would like to postulate that rumors of their affairs with others were disproportionately blown up. They both simple liked to make each other insanely jealous. It was dangerous, fun and the jealously was the proof that they loved each other with so much zeal. Lucille was a "one-man woman", and believe it or not, Desi was a "one-woman man". Affairs with other people were not counted.

Outsiders commented that there were chemistry and attraction so intense that they kept coming back to each other for more. Call it fate or destiny: they each began to care seriously for each other.

Desi's first telegram to Lucille, dated 15 October 1940 from Chicago:
"Darling, I just got up. I loved your note and adore you. Loads and loads of kisses, Desi."

Since then, he had written thousands of telegrams for her, and being the sentimental woman, she had kept each and every one of his love notes safely till the day she died.

Their love for each other was so fervent, yet, was it powerful enough to triumph the differences? Both of them had explosive tempers; their moods were volatile and they were the stubbornest people you could ever meet.

Was there any future between the two, with all those obstacles, problems and fights?